I hate Amttrak. But they’re huge fans of me. For years they’ve been begging me to write a piece on them and I’ve been clear–I’m very busy and can’t interview just anyone. What do they think this is? Amateur level college journalism?
I’d promised myself I’d never cross them off my no-write list, but when I jolted awake this morning to a shattered window and a rock with “Meet us at the graveyard” painted across it in Amttrak’s signature color (a horrendous teal by the way), I felt frightened, and then confused, and then intrigued.
Clutching my notebook–and my mase–I find myself here, seated beside the San Luis Obispo Cemetery’s own Masonic pyramid (which is apparently real, go look at it). The side of the mausoleum reads “DISTVRB NOT THE SLEEP OF DEATH,” and below that, sits Amttrak themselves, hand in hand. Only problem is I cannot for the life of me remember their names.
Julia: What are your names?
Lukas: Lukas Elliot Chou (guitar).
Chloe: Chloe (vocals and bass).
L: Last name.
C: No.
L: It’s Elerding.
Andrew: I’m Andrew Dames. Birth weight 5 lb 6 oz (also guitar).
Traa: Traa Connor (drums).
A: Full name.
T: skip.
C: Full name.
T: Ashford Ambrose Connor the Third.
C: That was good.
That was painful. For the record, all members were trying way too hard to accentuate their jawlines while speaking. Very distracting.
Okay, next question. Hmm. I’ll pick something modern, nuanced…
Julia: How did Amttrak begin?
Lukas: I met Andrew first at a club meeting cause he was wearing a Sonic Youth shirt.
Andrew: And you were wearing a Sonic Youth shirt.
L: And I was too. And Traa and I were in the same Week of Welcome group so that was the OG formation and then Jack, our original drummer, dropped, but we’re still friends with him.
A: Yea, he’s chill.
J: How did Chloe get here?
Chloe: They were just looking for a woman.
L: Set our diversity higher. We figured we had enough races, but we needed some gender diversity as well.
C: We’re not another white man SLO band. We’re only a quarter white men.
L: Well, two technically.
Traa: Yea between Lukas and I. If you do the math.
If only they’d pursued calculus, am I right?
Julia: What music inspires you guys?
Traa: Zach Hill, mostly Zach Hill.
Lukas: I’m gonna say the Velvet Underground, Joy Division, and Dry Cleaning.
Andrew: I'd say, like, probably like, nineties indie shit, you know, Pavement. I own his shirt–I bought Stephen Malkmus’s shirt. And he’s wearing it in an interview and if you go on youtube, he even talks about it, he’s like Mike Fellows got it for me, who played with him in Silver Jews and Rites of Spring, I have it. It smells kind of weird, and it fits kind of strange.
L: It’s cool. It looks good.
Chloe: I listen to Kim Deal. And Kim Gordon. And Kim–what’s another Kim?
T: Kim Petras.
C: Yea. Andrew and I take a lot of influence from the bands feeble little horse and Water From Your Eyes. Hm. On some gay shit, Phoebe Bridgers, the new Beyonce album, Chappell Roan, Adrienne Lenker, Billie Eilish, Clairo.
L: I really like Clairo.
C: I can do a REALLY good Adrienne Lenker impression.
T: That’s true.
C: Write that down.
Tone deaf AND bossy. I’m beginning to wish it were me lain to eternal rest in that pyramid. LOL!
Despite my many anti-Amttrak protests and belligerent cyberbullying, the band continues to put out “music.” If you must listen, their EP Sprinter and single “User” are out now.
Julia: What does your guys’ writing and recording process look like?
Chloe: I write every single song, and then they just follow along.
Traa: Honestly yea pretty much.
Lukas: Yea exactly.
Andrew: More or less.
L: Our old drummer Jack produced the EP. Shoutout Jack Butler. Chloe mixed “User.” We did some overlays.
C: We’re starting to produce our own stuff. We did for our latest single User and we’re working on some more songs for an EP this summer. We have 3 songs ready to record. The influence for it is coming from Bar Italia, Duster, feeble little horse, and they are gutting a body of water. We’re really leaning into indie noise sound.
Whatever that means.
Something I’ve always noticed about Amttrak is their superficiality, especially when it comes to clothes. They seem to shop very unsustainably.
Julia: Where is your fashion inspiration coming from these days?
Chloe: Urban Outfitters.
Lukas: H&M and Pacsun.
Traa: I actually only buy my clothes from antique stores. Overall fashion goal is to look like an eighteenth century Robber Baron.
C: Robert Baron?
T: Robber Baron. You know, like, the oil guys.
C: At shows, I wear Lukas’s shoes for good luck.
L: Chloe picks out my outfit because I have no sense of style.
C: That's not true Lukas. Your little body just looks so good in all my clothes.
Keep reading for the official Amttrak dress code?
Traa: We should talk about the list of clothing that’s allowed and not allowed at our shows.
Andrew: No one’s allowed to wear shorts to an Amttrak show. If you’re a man and you show up to an Amttrak show wearing shorts, you’re getting rocked.
Lukas: Or hats.
A: Yea you can’t wear stupid hats either.
T: I like hats. I’m wearing a hat right now. What the fuck?
A: Traa’s allowed to wear hats.
Chloe: He plays faster in hats.
L: We can wear hats. We can wear hats and we can wear shorts.
C: I CAN WEAR HATS.
T: If you pull up to any of our shows wearing Rick Owens, you get in for free.
L: It’s gotta be head to toe.
A: There’s certain brands that you can wear to our shows. I would say Rick, Margiela, Celine…
C: Shein.
T: Fashion Nova.
L: Rick.
A: Dior, but only like mid 2000s Dior. Rick. You must have one Chrome Hearts accessory. It’s okay if it’s even just like a little pendent or something.
T: Wait did you mention Rick?
A: Did I? I don’t know.
T: I don’t know.
A: Rick.
L: You can’t wear Off-White. No Preme.
C: You can wear Cal Poly Merchandise.
T: But no shorts.
What have we learned? Amttrak has an affinity for British rock and a distaste for summer wear. Let’s put a bow on this shitshow.
Julia: Describe Amttrak in three words.
Lukas: Diversity Equity and Inclusion, but the “and” is silent.
Traa: Lynchian.
Chloe: Lesbian?!
J: Lynchian.
A: No wait, that’s fire. Three L’s.
T: Lynchian. Lesbian. LOVE.
Pride month was actually last month, but I suppose dated references are their thing.
Anyways, I hope I have convinced you to hate Amttrak as much as I do. This has been truly enlightening, but I really have to go. I have to…uh… hit my head against a brick wall for a few hours…Bye!!!
Julia White is our Editorial Director. She conducted the interview and wrote the article. Abbott Swanson is our Art Director. They made the graphics. Ryden Secor is an editorial photographer based in San Luis Obispo and the Bay Area. He took the photos.
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